Saturday, 11 December 2010

I know you hate me and so what ?

I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading
my thoughts are invaded by memories of my past
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
as I lay here on the floor
I have no strength to get up
I'm not worth it any more

still searchin some words to say . cant find the best sentence to fit in this little emotional diary . Im just so moody and depressed ! I cant understand why do I have to feel this kind of damn feeling . it makes me feel less sense , loneliness , darkness surrounding ? ouh damn ! its hard to described . why cant they just get rid from my life ? I hate people askin why I always have no mood to talk . so what ? maybe that's becuz I hate you !

Im done with everythin and everyone . Friendship has completely lost its meaning . I belive there are only two types of people in this world ~ acquaintances and enemies . I dont belive in friendship anymore . I promise that I will not stay around long enough for you to get to know me . Im not going to be nice anymore . *yes Im totaly nice before this

If you want to be part of my life , then prove to me that your worth my time . I've been hated by most people and loved by few . hating me is the old thing , the old obsession . do what you have to do , say what you have t say to make yourself feel better . Quit being immature , grow up and get over it . your not worth my time . save the drama for the real world kids . whatever goes around comes around ten times worse . It may take a day , a month , or maybe even a year but it still will happen . belive in karma ! I never have and never will regret anything that I do . It happends for a reason . you learn from your mistakes . live fast , die young !

I like to observe how everyone treats each other . Fckin shit talkers . He talk shit , she talk shit , they talk shit , we all talk shit ! what do you get out of this ? I think its funny when everyone hates me then they get their friends to do the same when they dont even know me ! its pathetic . deal with your own problems !

My book is still being written , no one will ever get me . Im complicated so dont waste your time . I've been hurt way too much by the people I thought I love . I cant and wont trust anyone anymore . now show me respect , show me you're diffrent from everyone . I'll give you one chance and one chance only !

now dont you really know who I am ? what kind of gurl do I really am ? I dont know how to control myself . I talk rude and sometimes violence . Its hard for me to form a smile on my lips for people that I dont know . even if they are my classmates . I cry all night long when I get down . I feel calm with screamo . respect my like n dislike ! they called me a liar , and so what ? most of people that said like that dont even know who's this gurl . I did lie to protect myself . not to show that Im cool like other people do . who cares Im cool or not ? I dont die with cool atitudes !

its wasting ur time waiting for a gurl like me . I only trust three people right now . my parents , my only BFF and my husband ! you just have to know me better .

1 comment:

  1. haha~
    get too depressed eh?
    Life's like this..
    Live and let die...